Jake’s Life

Thursday was rough. I’m not going to get into it, but my looming halfway-to-fifty birthday coming up, missing my mom, and being tired really affected me.

Friday Sandro came over and we went to the mall for lunch, then walked around looking at things. We stopped by the T-Mobile store so I can play with my new toy which is coming soon. We went grocery shopping and I’m not sure why, but when I can get a bunch of stuff for not a lot of money I love it. Adidas antiperspirant was two 2-packs for $5. I also picked up a pint of Arrogant Bastard to try, which was very good. Danielle, my new roommate cooked dinner consisting of steak, pasta salad, salad, green beans, and vegetable dips which hit the spot. And my other roommate’s cute hot younger brother spent the night.

Today I didn’t do much. I woke up after dreaming about my new Blackberry, and being the true knob that I am I’ve already downloaded a bunch of themes and programs for it. I may sell my Wing to my roommate, who is a complete texting whore. Sandro and I picked up my grandmother and drove her to my new place to show her how close I actually am…for some reason she thought that just because I moved to the next county that I was far enough away that it’s a helluva drive to see her. Then we took her grocery shopping. Sandro was very affectionate in the store today. Don’t get me wrong, it doesn’t bother me at all, and I actually liked it. It just stood out to me. Once we got back to my place he left and I took a nap, then woke up and went to Aaron’s house to watch COPS. His boyfriend and I recently met and after a rough start but ended up hitting it off pretty good. I came home after dinking around there for a while and am now enjoying a pint of Young’s Double Chocolate Stout, with solid plans to work out tomorrow!

By the way, my roommate’s little brother is asleep on the floor in the living room right next to the sliding glass door, and he just kicked it which scared me.

Well, both of my roommates have moved out to go their separate ways. One recently graduated from dive school and is off to the water, the other was a bitch who could go anywhere as far as I’m concerned. The new roommates don’t move in for another week or so, which means I have the place to myself. They’re both guys, and one so far I know is gay.

The diver roommate who just moved out took care of most of the household stuff. The last two days I’ve felt somewhat like a newly divorced guy…but that’s besides the point.

My back pain is back…the muscles in my upper back are like rocks, and it’s the worst when I wake up. I’m going to keep my heating pad on it because the heat seems to help it. Honestly, it feels worse than after my big car accident a few years ago…but it hasn’t gotten so bad to walk the Troystopher road though.

Well, Alphamale moved out this morning. Not surprisingly he left a trashed bedroom, sink full of dishes, and a bottle of chaw on the coffee table. I spent a few hours cleaning the living room which I am sure will last more than a week since he’s gone now.

I went and got contacts today, spending way more than I wanted to. It was $300 altogether for the exam and 6 months worth of contacts. I also got a haircut (my usual #1 all over and blended to a 0). My eyes are a bit blurry, but this happened last time I had them four years ago too, so it will pass. The optometrist, a complete fuckin’ stud, said that my vision will actually be a bit sharper with my glasses, but then recanted when he found out that my astigmatism can be corrected with my contacts prescription.

Dizzle called me this morning, lit and sore. I’m not sure why, but he decided to go home, down a bottle of wine, fuck his girl, then call me while sitting on his couch butt naked. Fuck, this dude’s brain sometimes…geez.

Dizzle: “Fuck!”
Me: “What?!”
Dizzle: “Dude, I was looking…I’m drunk…was looking for my phone…Okay, found it. Does your dick ever get sore? LIke from fuckin’?”
Me: “Fuck you dude. I just don’t…*sigh*…fuck you.”
Dizzle: “You love it, my big ol’ cock hangin’ out! *insert Dizzle-composed song about his junk here*

Well, hey, work is like one big TMI exchange for a lot of us, so I won’t hate. That and he loves being written about on my blog…makes him feel famous I guess.

My new term in school started today. Effective Writing II and Intro to Web Design. The former is for my Comp II grade, and the latter is for an easy grade. And tonight begins my seven night stretch at work. I thought about setting up a ride for Sandro with me this weekend, but would rather wait until Summer time when he won’t get too bored.

Well, the roommates seem at it again. I woke up to “Fuck you bitch!”

We only have another week or two until the Alphamale moves out, which I think is the primary catalyst in all of the bullshit around here. Granted, he’s ruined my couch and love seat set, so much that I can’t even Craigslist it anymore, but I’m weighing the price of sanity. If he ever grows enough balls to barge into my room swinging when he’s drunk like the other roommates he’ll get to know Fox and Peerless after that. I know I’ve said it before, but why I am the only non-trailer trash mother fucker in this house?

I’m failing Algebra right now at a 56%. I only need 60% to pass, and I was done trying to excel in this class long ago. If I can get my grade up to 60% in the next week and a half I’ll be fine.

So far I have caught up on almost 2 weeks worth of homework in the last few days. My brain is almost numb from the amount of math and Criminal Procedure homework. Instead of one boring class and one exciting, I’m stuck with two boring, although they’ll both be over fairly soon.

Spidey came over the other day when I woke up as we had decided to go to a movie. When he got here my roommates were all gone (the Boy back home for knee surgery and recovery, the new girl I have no clue, and the Alphamale most likely starting a fight somewhere), and we took full advantage of the privacy. I am amazed that my bedroom has stayed clean as long as it had. Usually it goes to hell fairly quickly but I’ve been going out of my way lately to try to keep things in order. Of course, not counting two sets of clothes all over the floor.

We got showered and went downtown to see The Number 23, which was an alright movie if you’re able to see Jim Carrey in a serious light. He did a pretty good job in his role, but just because it was a serious movie doesn’t mean he left all humor out of it. All in all, it was a good one.

After the movie we went to Il Fornaio for dinner, had some good eats, and made our way back to my place. He couldn’t come in because his mother had given him a few hour’s notice for a quasi birthday celebration at her home, so he had to make his appearance there.

And by the way, he finally beat it out of me. I told him what I ordered for his birthday. He seems to like it.

The date with Spidey went great last night. He picked me up at home and couldn’t put the car in drive without a kiss first. The place we were planning on going to dinner a few blocks away had moved so we ended up hitting the Red Robin instead and walking a lap through the mall waiting for our food to settle and looking at video games. We had a lot of good conversation, and he had no problem showing affection in public. It probably looked like I was an internet pedophile meeting his prey (remember…6′4” and 5′2”), but hey, who cares.

We left and drove to the movie theater, and since he was a bit tired I took over driving. Whose lame ass idea was it to prevent the seat of a car from moving after the door has closed and the car is on? Well, he says it’s a safety feature, and if that’s the case a Volvo will never be on my list of cars to buy. As someone who drives over ten hours a night it is imperative that one is able to adjust on-the-go. Enough ranting.

We get to the theater and park, buy our tickets, and I grab coffee while we wait for the movie to start. Once in the theater and discussing how ridiculous pre-presentation advertising is we decide to watch “something” on my Dash, which was interrupted by a phone call from Dizzle.

Dizzle: What’s up fag snot?!

Me: On my date, about to watch a movie.

Dizzle: With who? Tulip Boy?

Me: Yeah, I’m with S*****. What’s up?

Dizzle: Nada. Fuck, for god’s sake, the worst place to have an accident! Fuck!

Me: Where you at?

Dizzle: Denny and Fairview. Maybe I should get my cock out and bust them up. Go-go-gadget cock hammer!

Me: Oh, geez.

Dizzle: Well hey, call me after your little penis party.

Needless to say, conversations with Dizzle can go from one thing to another. I need to start recording and posting them. Anyways.

We saw Breach, which was okay, not spectacular, and on the way out we saw that Reno 911! movie was out, but wasn’t on the web site and we didn’t pay any attention to the playing movies when we bought our tickets as we were too busy racing to see who could pay first.

After the movie we drove back to my house and parked. I asked if he wanted to come in, he said yes. As we were walking up the front lawn I noticed my roommate kept looking out the window at us. A few seconds later he ran out the front door and said we probably shouldn’t have come home so soon. Yep, sure enough, the other roommate had gone out and drank too much and turned into a violent anger ball, as usual. Since he was already in his room for the night we decided to chance it and went to my room, closing and locking the door behind us. While sitting there things started to heat up, and in the middle of it we heard blasting death metal and yelling, slamming, throwing, and screaming from the hallway. This was the first time our new roommate had experienced the Alphamale when he’s been drunk, and the Boy had told us that they’d been out on the front lawn fighting before we got home. I swear to God, they are the best representatives from the states of Colorado and Utah. Fucking white trash.

After apologizing to S***** for the trailer park show we went back to whatever it is we were doing (which I know, and you know). Overall, great date. I won’t get into too many details, but I did promise to explain the spark more…which will be done later. For now, I have to work on my Criminal Procedure essay some more.