Jake’s Life

Dizzle (Yaya bitches!)

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Thorpedo

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Breaker of Hearts

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Lil’ Maddy O’Cockface

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A while back, probably a year and a half ago or so, I found an ad on Craigslist posted by a 22 year old straight guy named Skip looking for gay friends. Surprisingly enough, the friends didn’t have quotations around it and it was in the Strictly Platonic section. I sent an e-mail, he replied, and two days later we met at the gun range to put some holes in paper. My friends Shelly and Dizzle came along as well (this was the Dizzle-put-five-rounds-through-the-same-hole incident). Skip had never handled a gun before, let alone shot anything, so he didn’t do much of it, but I had a great time. We lost track of each other after that and haven’t spoken since. Maybe I wasn’t gay enough for him to hang out with…

I’ve been looking through the platonic posts once more given recent issues and my feeling the need to look for a few more male friends. (Females are fine, but I don’t get along with flaming guys, and women are usually only a few rungs above that.) I love having straight friends—especially hot straight friends—because I usually challenge their stereotypical view of gay guys, as well as the fact that no matter how hot they are and how good of friends we are, the option of sex just isn’t there. I’ve found a few posts, but not in my immediate area, but I’ll keep trying. I haven’t met quality people off of Craigslist (especially as far as friendships go). Most of the platonic ads I’ve read always include something to the effect of “I’m looking for friends but not opposed to something else,” or people looking for walking partners. I don’t know, maybe that’s code for something. I’m not up on the hip lingo I guess.

What luck have you guys had on CL as far as friendships go? Of course, there’s ass-a-plenty on there for those who are looking for it, but I’ve got a booty already.

Well now, today was fairly pleasant. I woke up and heard from Dizzle, who of course needed something. I don’t mind though, because every time I’ve needed something he was there too. Anyway, he came over and I installed Windows Mobile 6 on his new T-Mobile Dash. Sandro wasn’t feeling good so he stayed in bed until Dizzle got here. Damn, he is so cute in bed.

Moving on, we went to California Pizza Kitchen for lunch, then picked up Gammy to go grocery shopping. After that I put her groceries away and took Sandro home. Then I went to the mall and got a haircut. I usually get an even umber one all around, but have been missing actually doing something with my hair for the past few years. Despite the fool trying and failing to decapitate me with clippers (got a nice little gash on the back of my neck now), I’m overall pleased with it. Sop the blood up and I’m good as new! Here’s the result:

Since then it has just been me, my homework, a bottle of pinot grigio, and my Juvenile Delinquency textbook.

New car

New car’s first ding (if you can even see it, but I know it’s there!)

Sandro being camera shy

My asp after making entry into a building through a double paned window

First time fueling up after the full tank at 6 miles (it was on 1/8 tank, and yes it says 277 miles)

Wallet I bought Dizzle for his birthday

Well, Alphamale moved out this morning. Not surprisingly he left a trashed bedroom, sink full of dishes, and a bottle of chaw on the coffee table. I spent a few hours cleaning the living room which I am sure will last more than a week since he’s gone now.

I went and got contacts today, spending way more than I wanted to. It was $300 altogether for the exam and 6 months worth of contacts. I also got a haircut (my usual #1 all over and blended to a 0). My eyes are a bit blurry, but this happened last time I had them four years ago too, so it will pass. The optometrist, a complete fuckin’ stud, said that my vision will actually be a bit sharper with my glasses, but then recanted when he found out that my astigmatism can be corrected with my contacts prescription.

Dizzle called me this morning, lit and sore. I’m not sure why, but he decided to go home, down a bottle of wine, fuck his girl, then call me while sitting on his couch butt naked. Fuck, this dude’s brain sometimes…geez.

Dizzle: “Fuck!”
Me: “What?!”
Dizzle: “Dude, I was looking…I’m drunk…was looking for my phone…Okay, found it. Does your dick ever get sore? LIke from fuckin’?”
Me: “Fuck you dude. I just don’t…*sigh*…fuck you.”
Dizzle: “You love it, my big ol’ cock hangin’ out! *insert Dizzle-composed song about his junk here*

Well, hey, work is like one big TMI exchange for a lot of us, so I won’t hate. That and he loves being written about on my blog…makes him feel famous I guess.

My new term in school started today. Effective Writing II and Intro to Web Design. The former is for my Comp II grade, and the latter is for an easy grade. And tonight begins my seven night stretch at work. I thought about setting up a ride for Sandro with me this weekend, but would rather wait until Summer time when he won’t get too bored.

The other morning I went to Vince Dizzle’s place for breakfast. Not surprisingly, it involved beer and guns. I helped fix his laptop’s performance (was suffering from  all of the TTDs…Technologically Transmitted Diseases) that come from downloading porn, as well as not clearing off the stock programs installed by most vendors. Anyway, for being a knob he is a surprisingly great chef, but I had already heard the legends.

Since I got my tax return I have hardly followed much of my “plan.” I’m going to make an eye exam appointment tomorrow to get either contacts again or some better suited glasses for work (i.e.: not expensive and plastic). Depending on how much I have left I’m going to contact some places that I hold delinquent accounts and try to resolve those.

I put together a collection of the essays I’ve written over the last almost two years from my Criminology, Criminal Law, Criminal Investigations, Social Problems, Criminal Procedure, Police Operations, Human Relations, and Ethics courses for my grandmother. She’s always complaining about how she doesn’t have many things to read except the TV Guide, and she loves crime and law related readings. I went and picked up a nice presentation binder and have most of my essays printed out so far:

Bail: Concept, Determination, and Denial
Confessions and Guilty Pleas
Right to Speedy Trial and the Statute of Limitations
Motive and Intent
Functionalist Perspective on Crime
Racism and Reverse Racism in Law Enforcement
Polygraph Use in Investigations
Protecting the Integrity of Crime Scenes
Latent Fingerprints as Evidence: Collection and Presentation
Arson
Profiling by Law Enforcement: Gang, Narcotics, Racial, and General
Jury of One’s Peers
The Mistrial
Interstate and International Extradition
Homicide Victimology

I couldn’t find my essays on Specialty Police Units, Ethics of Police Pursuits, or offender profiles, which I’m sure she would have enjoyed. My uncle is putting her in a home soon, which enrages me on one hand, but on the other I know that it will allow her to be more active and more social, two things she really needs right now. Plus, she will be a lot closer to me.

I picked up some overtime for this coming week, but it won’t sound like it. I had Thur-Fri off, tonight (Sat), I work Sunday, off Monday, on Tuesday, off Wednesday, then on Thu-Wed (7 days straight). I’m going to be beat by the time I get another day off.

I passed the algebra final, but not high enough to pass the class entirely. I was 1.2% away from passing. Here I come, Citibank, for more money for tuition so that I can be stuck in school even longer now.

Dizzle learned the other night that he’s not as in shape as he used to be. Take off running after someone…who does he think he is? A cheetah? King of the jungle?

I took some photos today of me prettying my gat. I’ll post them all on my weekend–A step-by-step photo guide on how to pimp your gat. Should you have a gat, of course.

The date with Spidey went great last night. He picked me up at home and couldn’t put the car in drive without a kiss first. The place we were planning on going to dinner a few blocks away had moved so we ended up hitting the Red Robin instead and walking a lap through the mall waiting for our food to settle and looking at video games. We had a lot of good conversation, and he had no problem showing affection in public. It probably looked like I was an internet pedophile meeting his prey (remember…6′4” and 5′2”), but hey, who cares.

We left and drove to the movie theater, and since he was a bit tired I took over driving. Whose lame ass idea was it to prevent the seat of a car from moving after the door has closed and the car is on? Well, he says it’s a safety feature, and if that’s the case a Volvo will never be on my list of cars to buy. As someone who drives over ten hours a night it is imperative that one is able to adjust on-the-go. Enough ranting.

We get to the theater and park, buy our tickets, and I grab coffee while we wait for the movie to start. Once in the theater and discussing how ridiculous pre-presentation advertising is we decide to watch “something” on my Dash, which was interrupted by a phone call from Dizzle.

Dizzle: What’s up fag snot?!

Me: On my date, about to watch a movie.

Dizzle: With who? Tulip Boy?

Me: Yeah, I’m with S*****. What’s up?

Dizzle: Nada. Fuck, for god’s sake, the worst place to have an accident! Fuck!

Me: Where you at?

Dizzle: Denny and Fairview. Maybe I should get my cock out and bust them up. Go-go-gadget cock hammer!

Me: Oh, geez.

Dizzle: Well hey, call me after your little penis party.

Needless to say, conversations with Dizzle can go from one thing to another. I need to start recording and posting them. Anyways.

We saw Breach, which was okay, not spectacular, and on the way out we saw that Reno 911! movie was out, but wasn’t on the web site and we didn’t pay any attention to the playing movies when we bought our tickets as we were too busy racing to see who could pay first.

After the movie we drove back to my house and parked. I asked if he wanted to come in, he said yes. As we were walking up the front lawn I noticed my roommate kept looking out the window at us. A few seconds later he ran out the front door and said we probably shouldn’t have come home so soon. Yep, sure enough, the other roommate had gone out and drank too much and turned into a violent anger ball, as usual. Since he was already in his room for the night we decided to chance it and went to my room, closing and locking the door behind us. While sitting there things started to heat up, and in the middle of it we heard blasting death metal and yelling, slamming, throwing, and screaming from the hallway. This was the first time our new roommate had experienced the Alphamale when he’s been drunk, and the Boy had told us that they’d been out on the front lawn fighting before we got home. I swear to God, they are the best representatives from the states of Colorado and Utah. Fucking white trash.

After apologizing to S***** for the trailer park show we went back to whatever it is we were doing (which I know, and you know). Overall, great date. I won’t get into too many details, but I did promise to explain the spark more…which will be done later. For now, I have to work on my Criminal Procedure essay some more.