Jake’s Life

There’s no excuse. None at all. Of course not, I know it! I have to start, if I don’t I won’t succeed. I have a choice, but what’s the point of not making the right one? I pride myself on making the right choices for me, and staying on track with my goals, so what is any different about this? It’s physical/mental, not just mental.

I have to start working out again. I went from 4 to 6 days a week to nothing after my accident, and now that my back doesn’t hurt anymore I have to start again. I’ve already started doing basic stuff (push-ups, situps, and free weights) again. I seem to be holding myself to it pretty well so far.

Over the last few days I’ve had an ear infection, and let me tell you, it’s not comfortable. My right ear feels like it has a cork in it, and it’s hard to open my jaw to eat much of anything. It hurts the most when I wake up, but after a few ibuprofen it feels somewhat better. It’s also made it pretty hard to even think, let alone create a victim profile for my assignment (that is 2 days past due).

I was browsing the lovely HS2000 Forums and came across a fairly nice idea for my Springfield XD. I colored the sights to help me visually acquire targets better.

Whew. It’s hot out. It’s been in the 80’s lately. Not coincidentally it’s been in the 90’s inside my body armor. Not cozy, but if you have any hot dogs it’ll only take 10 minutes to cook it.

Pride was the other day in Seattle, ad as usual, I didn’t go. A lot of people have asked me why I don’t go, and it’s something I think about this time of year. On one hand it leads me to feel down on myself; I don’t feel I fit in with what the bulk of the gay community seems to want of its members. I don’t have the body, I don’t have the huge circle of friends that have slept with each other at various points in time, I don’t go out to clubs, or parties, I don’t do drugs, I don’t have lax morals. I also notice strengths in that though, that I’m different from the rest, that I have my direction, I have my goals, and I’m working to achieve them.

I guess that my main gripe is that I’m single. I know, I know, I’m only 23. There’s plenty of time for that stuff later. Blah blah blah. No disrespect, but I think this may be one of those things that makes more sense looking back on. Self confidence in this area is also a problem that I see. I’m confident in my work, I know I do a good job, I’m confident in my schooling (as in I work hard and get good grades), and I’m confident that I have a lot to offer people, both as a friend and as something more. I know there has to be others out there like me: not completely hot that everyone wants them, but with substance and depth that offers more than introductory drooling.

Hopefully I’ll be going to the range soon, clear my head.

Just finished some major projects for my classes, both Criminal Law and Criminal Investigation. A while back I had most of my assignments posted on this site, but was doing so many of them I slacked off on posting them. Let’s put that on the potential to-do list for now. I’m doing pretty well in school right now, which is surprising because of how much time I am actually able to devote to it.

I’m enjoying my weekend so far…it started today and ends tomorrow, with last week being 6 days and next week being the same. Not coincidentally, I have noticed things that make me think I’m spending too much time at work:

• I have begun to view alley lights as an actual form of communication, complete with tone, inflection, and attitude.
• I know why the right side of my shirt is constantly coming untucked.
• If I’m face to face with someone and didn’t quite catch something they said, I’ll ask them to 10-9. I will also tell people “affirm,” “stand by,” “received,” and “baker sam.”
• I will type one handed while watching TV.
• I get out of a car and begin to reach for something on my belt that isn’t there.

The list just keeps growing every night I work.

The search for a new apartment has begun. The roommates are not planning on staying here when our lease expires August 1, so it leaves melooking for a new place. No big deal, I just don’t like to ush around at the last minute. The new place is definitely going to be with roommate(s), and hopefully closer to work. Stability too, not, “Oh we plan to be here for a while,” then they book it.

I haven’t posted in more than a week…big surprise there. Here’s a rundown of things going on (mirrored on MySpace):

I installed Ubuntu on my laptop finally. It wasn’t the chore that installing Linux used to be, which is great. I installed Ubuntu 6.06 Flight 7, and loved it, then the Beta release came out, so I installed it, rebooted, and oops (!)…my entire Windows XP partition was gone, even though I went to great lengths to preserve it. Oh well, I reinstalled Windows, reinstalled Ubuntu, and now it’s fine, except that the last backup I made of my MyDocuments folder in XP was 2 weeks ago, so everything I downloaded, saved, or otherwise wanted since then is gone. It’s mostly worth it. ?

I went to Walla-Walla last weekend with a friend. I’ll tell ya, unless you have family there, have to travel there for work, or just love the smell, you have no need to go there. It’s a nice little down home cookin’ town, but definitely not for me. His family lives there, and like most families I’ve met besides my own, despite their eccentricities, they’re nice. The drive from Seattle to Bellevue went well, until a few bombs were dropped and a knife went into my stomach (figuratively speaking, of course, which is why I’m able to type right now), and made the rest of the drive, the entire time there, and the drive back extremely uncomfortable for me. I’m not sure about him, but I was ready to lose what little food was in my stomach the entire time.

I may have to drop out of school, as my tuition is going up (again). I have already taken money from every other area of my life to dedicate to school over the past year, and it’s getting to the point where I have to choose between giving up one or more of the following for my education: groceries, cell phone, bus pass, and cat food. Not good choices, and a private loan, while it may be possible, is just going to hurt me with my credit the way it is and how hard I’ve worked to repair it (which is still painfully ongoing).

Work is going well; no vehicle accidents, no having guns or knives pulled on me, and I’ve made some great buddies working here so far.